oct 16 facebook notes

sex is the end of the road
it should be the beginning

sex is the end of the road
it should be the beginning

I really love you
is just that I don’t want to show it to you
its too lame
the idea of love has been stolen by ‘them’
I just show you my art
please open to it

should you chose to find the problem?
or the solution?

don’t you really feel
the light and warmth I hide in my darkness?
why are you still afraid?

I give you my body, my pain, my blood, my genitals
Its not enough

floating on the back of somethingness

about the banalities nobody has thought before

I was aiming at reality
but maybe I should not
cartoons are much better

my strongest desire
of which I work for 15 years
is how to write comedy when sad
when I’ll achieve that
my lifework will be able to begin
now I’m in the study experimental exploring stage

I don’t have enough value
to be alive.
stealing life

women have possession issues
men have existential ones
that is why there is no understanding between

“why should I sacrifice for others? fuck ’em”
the 1st law of sociodynamics

I am here
I’m your safety net

we try to tame our natural surrealism
in existential reality

I hate that first step

no explanations.
you know me
you will understand my films

everybody uses the results of statistics
proof again
of the unconscious rule of the many
but many, never mattered in human endeavour throughout the ages
we’ve always been against the odds

Komedy is our daily bread
sustainable and fulfilling
like beer
its just that sometimes
you get dehydrated

let’s meet only when we feel good

getting the fffff out of the system inertia + a drop of resonance = art

sa nu uitam niciodata de identitatea nostra insectiforma
cu care ne prezentam in civilizația înaltă a oamenilor
exista si insecte minunate de insectar
poate asta ne ajuta, ca sintem de foarte foarte multe specii
dar nu vom fi niciodată oameni
cum si noi avem inferiorii noștriii
romanian vs western – culture

the only emotion that makes sense
is light
and I look for it in everything
especially in darkness

to kill oneself when your social persona is abruptly changed
its absurd
(about blackmail, crippling accident)

tragedy is about the destruction of ego
comedy is about the construction of ego

throughout the ages
the ideas were always the same
only the mood gets new
and the reaction to it

the monopole in all areas
proves only with how little
people satisfy themselves
or are forced to desire more

it is an experiential thing
there is no way anyone can explain to understand
the complex necessity
of acting in films
its so not human nature
so counterproductive
and yet
such an enormous instrument
for personal freedom
and inner exploration
and outer investigation of truth
its death and rebirth 24 times per second

if you want to #die
expose yourself in front of a camera
in front of a story
in front of a director’s vision
in front of a crew
if you want to die, become an object in front of a lens
it will burn your insides
to vivid ashes
experience ultimate loss
in safe momentary experiences

the most important things
I will tell you online
face to face
I can not reach inside you
your armour is too protective
the virtual is our fantasy
our oniric
our mythical
our primal raw symbolic realm
i can be with you
the beyond me
the beyond you
only in fantasy
in our most pure most open and safe
all the most important and difficult things
i will share with you
realty is too cluttered
too painful
We’ve always retreated in a fantastic togetherness.

The sacred world of playfulness

Tastes differ
Because people feel in different ways and systems
People dislike out of the inability to infer other pleasure system

What is Kant’s definition of Society?

I don’t want to know anything about you.
I don’t want to infect your purity with my preconceived fears.
Just be next to me. New. Simple. Pure. Without mistakes regrets and failings.
Until you become human.

Virtual communication is so therapeutic.
It regulates the imbalances of inner outer, social, self awareness.
Reality becomes richer and closer to the personal meaning ans truth.
The braking of social and interpersonal rules in virtual gives perspective and substance.

Emancipation = understanding art

Somebody very brave and very scared in the same time told me –
“I’m not good at speaking with people you know so formality is easier for me…”
People hide in plain sight.
And is so difficult and confusing and often meaningless to fight for inner truth.
Weird life’s ways… and it’s distortions from the Tao

It is mind done with the body,
Not body done with the mind.
Looking to enrich a language,
Not to strip bare an experience.

I believe in free love
open relationships
and tribal large communal families
based on a common belief system
of meaning and existential experience

I’m still collecting evidence.

If Evil exists, its root is in self-hate.

In art people don’t need to be shown hope joy and pleasurable happiness.
But contact with existential interferences.
Pleasures are for reality and direct experiences.

We don’t say hello,
We don’t say goodbye.
We are continuously connected.

…. because I believe in you more than you ever believed in yourself.
…. because I see in you what you are desperately looking for.

its so unnatural to make dreams come true
that is why is so difficult, so painful, so doubtful
but all our world is made only out of dreams
of interconnected realized dreams
of the extremely impossible
ie – the internet

i am still inside my inflatable comfort zone

if you want a life as an artist
prepare for a lifetime of refusals

Myself and my art
Are 2 very different persons

Romanians still take their own image to be their real self.

Romanians are very realistic, that is why they can’t create great art. Their inner world is minimal and mirror like.

Art is not truth
Its only expressed paranoia
It makes sense only out the good will of the spectator
For in itself is nothing but artist’s gibberish
Great art is great paranoia.

Stop watching/listening/participating in things made for money
And you’ll discover a new amazing free honest world

Is art an object or a being?

be weird
otherwise I will not talk to you
don’t try to be normal
you’ll scare me away

experiencing forbiddencies
must reroute

make the step

Everybody is scared inside
The difference is only in its…

People are sensitive to paranoia
That is why they follow only when many believe the same thing
Its stupid but its human nature and is safer than going in the unknown

I am a pacifist
but my art is a weapon

people work in mysterious ways

All comedies begin in hell.

only #bots don’t know #art from #porn

Tolerance was never ever accepted by Society
Lets make provisions and store them carefully
We’ll need it so dearly when hiding in wilderness.

Westerners are more oniric
Easterners are more realistic
Reality is a start
Reality is an end

The majority of people don’t really want to live. A small small part of them kinda look for a reason for it.
Life is only for the few.

Only the living can understand life.
The System can not recognize what Life is. For It, humans are nothing but machines.
And when a person accepts the system as part of himself. As betterment. Forgets about life. Forgets about humanity.
Even if he/she is better and brighter.

Is not truth, is just another form of lie.
New lies coerce the revelation of some truth.
For truth is untouchable, unknowable, unreachable.

Strive to become independent.
Stop eating from the ones you hate.
The sweet poison of oblivion.
Take from the evil give to the free.
Take from the selfish and fake and give to the truth, to the seeker.
Find your own way.
Stop using your master’s ways.

I will never find what I am looking for.
That is why I have to create it.
[about people]

I like obeying the rules.
I love doing it the right way.
It gives me so much peace and warmth.
Such meaningful joy.

What we fear is not Death. For we have no idea what that is.
We fear loss and we fear pain. That’s what we need to understand and overcome.

It doesn’t matter what you create
It matters only in what people transform it into.

Misogyny is only against beautiful women.
For men fear/hate their sexual power.

We’re just playing around.

I guess the definitive meaningful experience that we are here to learn is Loss.
We start losing from the moment of our birth.
We dont just live in time. We consume it.

“Ma bucur ca nu te interesează”

What world/human problem do you work to alleviate?
First thing about a newly found problem is to find a name for it.

I am looking for men that can accept their own fears.

#Love is a gate to the soul of the other. Once open it can never close. Not even with tons and tons of fear and hate. The connection is made.
So, love many many many people. It will open you to another world. A hidden world of deep unconscious #reality. A world that expands in all, through all, creating all.
The more people you love, the wider the gates are open. The better you have the chance to see through it. To know it. To be in it.
Or maybe is not called love. But let us call it so for the time being.

What would you do if you had no one to account for, no laws, no responsibility, no others to protect and help?
I would #play all day long.

I don’t have money, I don’t have friends, I don’t have talent,
I don’t have sincerity, I don’t have righteous ideas, I don’t have wisdom, I don’t have peace in my heart, I don’t have love for society, I don’t have respect for our forefathers,
I don’t need to win, I don’t long for being right, I don’t get angry about injustice, I am not looking for revenge, I don’t want a better world….
thus, I can be free, I can be me

I am the creation of my refusals.
With each refusal I’ve constructed a labyrinth towards simplicity.
A mysterious path as mirror of the intricate absurdities of human organic blindness.
In a world of lies and blindness, the only path is through an emotional labyrinth that grinds away the accomplishment and happiness of the governing pure bullshit.

People born not wanting life.
They hide from it with all their power and cunning.

Should we take, the mundane things, seriously? Should we take them as meaningful and important?

We should not inspire people to be free, but to be culturally useful.

I only pay for my weaknesses.
Food, warmth, health, beauty.
And fears.

Underground = beneath the ego.

Fans and friends are now workers for their favorite artists.
There is no more servitude from artists to fans. But a fair exchange between the artist and fan/spectator.
You help me, and I help you.
No more buying, but building together, not money in exchange for pleasure, but involvement in the project.
Active communities than commerce.


Unfortunately there are too many people thinking/feeling in the same way.

Linii nedrepte desenează lumea.

Passivity is possesivity
Domination is objectivisation.
Balance in the pendulum.
The alchemy of the frequency.
Fixed in high frequencies.

I am a psychopath. A soul sufferer.
I have a pervasive failure to adhere to societal norms.

Don’t use your social persona.
Show me only you art side.
Be with me only in… Art.
I am not another.

It is about the alchemy of emotions.
Not about achieving and emotion.
It is about creating new ones.

It’s all about individuality and self pride outthere.
If you challenge that there is no success but only doom.

We only use humans to procreate.
Everything else is under our control.
Its so easy to mechanise them. They want it.
All their lives is dedicated to belonging to the mainstream.
Complete Inner Suicide and Oblivion is a golden aim for them.

internet recluse
its so magic when you find one
its here among us, but refuses us
simply beautiful

La Fobia del Convencionalismo
Me Duerma deja Vivir

The only thing that bothers me is, how much we could’ve done if we were all together.

Its easy for a woman to have a child.
So difficult for a man.

In all I do,
There is a thick smell of love.
But let’s just call it

Drama is the subtle art of the #Peril.
Peril as a tool of enriching life.
Peril as a tool of exfoliating human condition.
[finally I understand one of the biggest dilemmas of my artistic life]
[thank you for the last night theater play – thank you actors, thank you Andreea]

What kind of #dangers and #perils do you use in your art?

The most important issue in the world, has always been #ORDER.

affirmation and form and formation can be #ordered
what can not be named, can not be ordered
what can not be ordered, can not exist
but existence reaches out so much more than the ordered
what about those things? how can we reach for them? how can we wonder about them? how can we experience them? of those beyond existence

We only #do things if we are in a #crisis.

Some #work like carnivorous.
Some like herbivorous.
Is the urban society a carnivorous society, based mainly on hunting and scavenging?

I am more interested in the unconscious part of life.

they need to know I fear them
and thus
I’m free

Writing about our most rooted inner formations and trying to transform them in dramatic pieces and threads, I finally found out that my acute fear of people is actually a Phobia of Normality. If in a person or situation I detect unconsciously more than lets say 15% normality I will run away. I will defect. And is not actually a fear no longer, because accepting my fear of people long time ago, this fear is now much more a profound disgust for Normality and its conventions. But what and why that is another complicated discussion.
Without the automatic identification within normal forms, I feel free to act.
Thank God for the artificious freedom of thought and speech imposed by the state on Normality.

#Writing is like the ancient #Alchemy.
You use coarse elements and you play with them and play with them and explore their magic and wonder and amazement until all of a sudden…..
It all connects and becomes #Alive.
[a little story just blossomed into an amazing sense]

They’ve killed truth love freedom beauty
There is only fakeness fear and hiding away
Thats why we always need new paths
New ways for getting fresh and truthful.
Getting out in the mysterious unknown and feel our way towards light.
Any word any knowledge is a lie.
We need new threading paths, through the scary dangerous unknown. The unknown protected by vicious visceral moral guards.
Out there you can only get by force. Breaking through one own’s destiny.

oameni de vinzare
v-as cumpara eu daca as fi avut bani
decit sa va las pe mina patronilor si corporatiilor

Our stupid rat race of finding Evil. Of unmasking it.
Evil is as synthetic as Plastic.
Unmasking a mask.
soo soo stupid

The new fashion in town.
The amazing art of saying NO through saying YES.

Art was at its best when was in the Service of Reason. Be it religious, cultural, social, or scientific.
Since it went against it, as being obsolete and incomplete and decorum, art fell ill and crumbled.
Nowadays true art is only Design. The rest is just conceptualized waste.
Which is awesome, I think.
Because it will force art to become an Outsider. And regain its spiritual purity and deep humanity.
True Art dies quickly.

Why do Girls run after #LOVE
and Boys after #POWER?
Why do Girls hate POWER
and Boys hate LOVE.
It could have something to do with the functionality of their genitals and the methodology of pleasure?

How could I promote this idea to make people leave their possessions through a #Testament to an artist or artistic project?
Its much better that to be taken and consumed by their relatives or donated to institutions.
Artists could be helped during their lifetime with others, not needed anymore possessions.

…and all of a sudden we both realized that our deepest, most fundamental beliefs were completely apart
and it was strange…

“ratio of useful work done to energy expended” – Efficientia
useful – beneficial, valuable
valuable – worth
worth – good or important enough to justify
and it goes on and on until the definitions upon definitions create not meaning but an experience. An experience that has nothing to do with efficiency. For an experience contains the most efficient way of perceiving and feeling and changing according to it.

Nu uita
Te toleram

Learn to live withou laws, without hope, without love, without beauty.
Its so much meaningful.
Joy and happiness are only lame adictive drugs.
Try a cold turkey detox.
Its painful desperate and frightful.
And on the other side you are just free.

Usually survival means killing what is meaningful inside.
I should give it a try.

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